Flow without disruption
More and more, I find myself in situations with horses who lack basic life skills, structure, and confidence. Ironically, these horses are similar to what I see working with children. Things are changing, and over the years I’ve realized that adults are also changing. We live in a world that has separated us from one another, and most of us are emotionally disconnected. A common theme in people I work with (both in the horse and my other professional world), is bouncing from one extreme to another. This shows up like people who work to be “calm,” but because there isn’t a true congruence between their emotional and physical state, they can easily swing to the extreme of overreaction at what feels like the slightest trigger. I’ve been there too.
The horses are tight, sometimes to the point of not being able to move. They bite, strike, use their heads as sledgehammers, and do not know how to have peaceful interactions or understand boundaries. When I started seeing this in the horses, it provided me an opportunity to really look at myself. How could I show up and work horses like this and support people if I didn’t take a hard look at how I also might contribute to these issues? It is so uncomfortable, but change comes out of discomfort.
I have been working hard by taking lessons with teachers who embody this way of being themselves, and who can call me out to show up differently for all horses. The thing that keeps coming up in my own lessons is not allowing the horse to disrupt me. Life will always cause horses to do horse things, because they’re horses. We don’t get to have interactions free from challenge, but the way we show up can help horses participate in life with us more confidently. Remaining balanced internally and externally is hard when a horse is trying to disarm you, or when you have to set an uncomfortable boundary. Flow, stay balanced, and when the moment is over let it be gone and move on.
This young horse has many great skills, but we did have to flow through some exuberant behaviors.
